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What's The Worst That Could Happen?

by Grizzly Bear Therapy

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1.
I’m not a funny guy but I play one in real life. I’m too boring for my words to be worth your time. But I still write songs about these four years. They’re all I have to show for all my time here.
2.
Pray for the whales harpooning kids in Africa. They’ve been starved and could really use some better aim. With our help, they’ll eat the children’s flesh for days. They won’t sleep because they won’t let them get away. Get away, get away. No, they won’t let them get away. Pray for the lions on the plains of Africa. They can’t sleep and need to ease their troubled minds. They can’t decide which life that they should end today. We can pray their silly consciences away. Oh, it makes sense when you don’t think about it. It wears you out, so don’t bother thinking about it all night. Pray for the rocks who lost their power in New York Don’t pay bills because they can’t hold a steady job. Can’t afford more than the basic cable shows. Now they’ll miss their favorite shows on HBO. Oh, it makes sense when you don’t think about it. It wears you out so don’t bother thinking about it all night long. All night long. You don’t need a reason, at least not a good one. You don’t need a reason, at least not a good one. (Sharpen up all the old harpoons and then we’ll fire at them) Pray for the whales harpooning kids in Africa. They’ve been starved and could really use some better aim.
3.
Some guys get all of the girls but some guys just aren’t me. Some girls write all their doubts on the last page of stationary. Some girls have all the fun stringing you along. Then they’ll decide they’re done. Next thing you know, they’re gone. When you say something, something’s wrong. I look down then you’re gone. It’s safe to say you’ve gone away. When I don’t talk, there’s something wrong. I look up you’re still gone. It’s safe to say I’m going to wait. Some guys get all the luck and by luck I mean money. Some girls won’t go for that but some girls have never heard of me. When you say something, something’s wrong. I look down then you’re gone. It’s safe to say you’ve gone away. When I don’t talk, there’s something wrong. I look up you’re still gone. It’s safe to say I’m going to wait. I’ll be the one who lies about how long I’ve been waiting.
4.
Hello honey, I’m home. Wait a minute, I’m getting ahead of myself. You’ve got to ask her out first. Wait a minute, would you look at the time? It’s time for me to start worrying about absolutely everything. I’m pacing back and forth until she loves me. I know I need to tell her and I will, maybe, but statistically speaking, I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever tell her.
5.
In her head there’s invisible lines That I’m crossing. There’s no need to try. It’s so easy when you’re not aware. If you’re sorry, she doesn’t care. I can hear her talking to herself again. I’m not what she wanted. She’s making plans to escape again, But is that really needed? Oh, oh, she stabbed me in the back. Oh, oh, but I’m getting used to it. If she just leaves me hanging on and on and on and on, I’ll be fine. She never learned how to tie a knot. Didn’t know she had more than one guy. Everything we had was a lie. I’ll find someone who values my time. She’ll be sorry, but “Go wait in line.” She caught me talking to myself again About what I wanted. It’s getting cold enough for revenge, But is that what I wanted? Oh, oh, I could stab her in the back. Oh, oh, and she’d get used to it. If I leave her hanging on and on and on and on, She’d just stay because I know how to tie a knot. Sure I could. But is that really my thing? I’m crushed by sadness and a little bit angry. That doesn’t mean she deserves to be treated like me. I sat in silence the night that she left me. She said, “Oh, I’m sorry. Is your noose too tight? Here, let me loosen it, so I can ease my mind.” A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory. Good thing she always had the mind of a goldfish.
6.
Hello Death, I was thinking of stopping by, but decided to write this letter with pen and paper. I don’t know where to send it but I hope this finds you well. And I hope they remembered to pay the heating bill in hell. If you see her down there, tell her I said, “hi.” and that she should call me. She doesn’t pick up the phone anymore. It’s not my time. No, it’s not my time. But if you need me I’ll be here.
7.
I’m not useful in any sense of the word. I’m breathing air that somebody else could use. I’m just another speck of dirt swept away in the vacuum. Tried to clean up my act but no matter what I do You look at me like I’m standing water, Something you wouldn’t want to put your foot in. But you don’t have the time or patience to clean it up. I’m just standing water. I’ve got no money, no job, no way to pay the rent. I was so happy for a minute, but oh, was that an accident? Ran out of fingers counting all the ways I let you down. The feeling lingers that one more set back might make me drown. You look at me like I’m standing water, Something you wouldn’t want to put your foot in. But you don’t have the time or patience to clean it up. I’m just standing water. I’ve got no goals, no marks, no ways to measure any progress. “Towards what?” I do not know but I always find ways to regress. I’m kind of worried I won’t amount to anything but fear That on my gravestone, there’ll be just a name and a couple years. You look at me like I’m standing water. Something you wouldn’t want to put your foot in. But you don’t have the time or patience to clean it up. I’m just standing water. “Get a job and pay the rent” You look at me like I’m standing water, Something you wouldn’t want to put your foot in. But you don’t have the time or patience to clean it up. I’m just standing water.
8.
You want to run somewhere. Don’t want to find your problems there, So I guess you won’t want me around. If you’re going to talk that talk, Oh, girl, you’d better walk that walk, Or else, they won’t want you around. Life isn’t always fair but I won’t stop and stare. I know you’re not who I always thought you were. I’ll take you there but you’ve got to learn to care About someone else instead of just yourself. I thought you should know, you’re never going to be alone. You want to fall in love. I’m the one you’re never thinking of, So I guess you won’t want me around If you really love someone, Oh, girl, you’d better show them some, Or else, they won’t want you around. Life isn’t always fair but I won’t stop and stare. I know you’re not who I always thought you were. I’ll take you there but you’ve got to learn to care About someone else instead of just yourself. I thought you should know you’re never going to be alone. I know you’re not who I always thought you were. I’ll take you there but you’ve got to learn to care. About someone else instead of just yourself, So she said, “You’d better get used to being all alone.”
9.
Carcasses of bugs litter the floor of my apartment. They were seeking warmth from all the people who couldn’t care less if they died. But this bachelor’s sanctuary didn’t treat them kind, So they just laid down and died. Sometimes, I think I should join them. I’ve been losing weight pacing the floor of my apartment. I’m thinking of you. Thinking of the good times, the bad times. You know, the usual. Or just you and me going to the mall. Making fun of people who live normal lives, Then close their eyes when it’s time Now and then, I think I should join them. I’ve been sleeping in on the floor of my apartment. I reminisce About blaming myself for everything. Maybe that’s all I know how to do. But there’s people who tried and tried again. They found the one and fell in love. Sometimes, I wish I could join them. Will I ever join them?
10.
Come on, man. You've got to go talk to her. Hey, so do you like, uh, stuff?
11.
I’ve been practicing my lines over and over. In my head, it makes a difference. As if the placement of a semi-colon or comma would make you love me. If only the clouds overhead would just make up their minds if it’s rain or shine. I spent the weekend running every situation I could ever be in. It’s last week’s results. “What’s the hold up for?” I just need the perfect moment. “Enough with the excuses.” I turn the music up. So what am I doing with all of this thinking? I crunched the numbers. The report is up. Some of it is excess. Some of it is baggage. The rest of it is pointless. Why don’t I give up? Because it’s so exciting. I’m dying to see how this one ends. It’s so exciting. Can’t count the ways I could mess this one up. I’ve been practicing my lines over and over. In my head, it makes a difference. As if the placement of a semi-colon or comma would make you love me. If only the clouds overhead would just make up their minds if it’s rain or shine. I’m thankful for every photon that brings your image to my eye. I know that’s just how the physics of the world works. But I can’t help thinking of all the universes where that doesn’t happen. And how seeing you is the best part of my day. So thank you photon. I practiced my lines over and over. In the end, it made no difference.
12.
Take a deep breath. Hold it all in. This moment too shall pass. It’s nothing really new. Done this all before. Try not to think so fast. It’s easiest said. Never really done. How can I just relax? Think about her smile. Give her all your lines with just a dash of eye contact. I said every word I knew by heart. She put her number in my phone. I know everything is going to be okay. But I don’t think that way in the moment. I’m panicking. In the moment, I can’t see how it will be okay. Text her on my phone. Start with something dumb. Maybe it will make her laugh. Waste an afternoon. So much else to do. But every word should be perfect. How about a date if you have the time? What about Monday night? You’ve got a busy week, something going on for the rest of your life. I wish I knew every word to say. I always thought you felt the same. I know everything is going to be okay. But I don’t think that way in the moment. I’m panicking. In the moment, I can’t see how it will be okay. I wish I knew every word to say. I always thought you felt the same. I guess I knew that I was wrong. I’m stuck on repeat with the same old song.
13.
The Long Run 03:31
I’m sick of waiting for the good days to come. I tried to count them but at this rate it’s only one. I’m starting to think that nothing matters in the long run. I’ve got friends who swear that they’ll miss me when I’m gone. But that’s the trouble. Will they really keep in touch? I won’t hold my breath if nothing matters in the long run. Fell for a girl whose hair bounced softly as she walked. That’s all I thought of, then I got nervous when we talked. It was a mess but nothing matters in the long run. How can I be careless if I couldn’t care less? Nothing really matters anyway. Nothing really matters in the long run.
14.
Flashback to me in the fifth grade They gave us all the talk about Boys and girls and what they were made to do One thing that always bugged me, I think they forgot to mention How much it hurts when it doesn’t go that way. Flash forward to when I’m in college Where all my friends do their homework On Friday night to clear up all their weekends. I zone out when they judge me. “You’d better put your nose to the grind stone Or else you’ll fail and fall behind the rest of us.” They’re singing, “We could get so much done With all our talent and potential.” But I’d rather waste my days away. Flashback to me in the eighth grade I met this girl into ska bands. Never thought that would ruin the next five years. It took some time but we talked and Long story short, it never worked out. I was in love but we went our separate ways. Flash forward to college weekends Where all my friends like to party. I’m not sure what they get out of it. I guess it relieves the stress of A life that’s harder than mine. Try it on. I doubt you’ll grow to like it. They’re singing, “We could make so much love And do every single drug they sell.” But I’d rather sit at home and think About the past and future. About the past and her.
15.
Worry, worry. I’m a connoisseur of anxiety. Worry, worry, worry my life away. Lately, I’ve been worrying what to do with my life. But I’ll eat that elephant one bite at a time. So what’s the worst that could happen to me?

about

This is a collection of songs written during my time in college often while walking to class. They've finally been recorded with some actual effort. Everything was recorded with a microphone and a laptop in a basement. That's the story. Here's some songs.

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released September 8, 2017

All songs written and performed by Jack Walsh.

Bathroom times scheduled by the Jack Walsh digestive tract.
Annoying background hum provided by various household appliances.
Jokes during production provided by Jack Walsh to an empty room.

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Grizzly Bear Therapy

Songs by a sweaty dude in a cold basement.

(Puns provided for an additional fee)

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